i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have fence marks all over my body
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
