Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
