I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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