im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
