the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
