Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
