i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
