First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
