Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
