ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
