He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i've created a new STD.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
