Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
