i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
