Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
