I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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