You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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