also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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