Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize