So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I want a musical about memes.
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