I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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