Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
