dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he thought i was a dude.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
