Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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