so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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