I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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