hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
