I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
