You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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