yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
