so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Damn victory sex feels great
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
