Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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