Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
