I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize