We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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