I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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