I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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