oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
