am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
