I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
