FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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