We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
