I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
