My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
