I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
