where am i from again
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am mentally ready for anal.
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