great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Drake has all the answers
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
