NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
