Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize