New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
