is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
