Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
