Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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