My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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