Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
