Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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