Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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