just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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