we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
