right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The power of my boobs compel you
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
