somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
