glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
