Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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