if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
