i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize