How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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