So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
