I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
