i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize
